John the vagrant.

John, the vagrant devil, he had been sent straight to hell after his life, he had resigned himself to random slayings and rape and robbery, he was vain, he was thrifty, and he never did meet anyone that was willing to excuse his actions whatsoever. Unfortunately John took hell in spirit, he enjoyed every punishment, every flaying of the flesh, burning of the skin, skewering, whipping, crucifixion, was exactly what he was looking for. Struck at a loss for ideas, great Lucifer sent him to Heaven, so that his brother Gabriel could find something that would work. John was then submitted to the bliss of Heaven, and unsurprisingly he found this enjoyable still. Both brothers were at a loss, and they contacted The Father. The Father had the only true solution; he called John forward, who eagerly awaited whatever "punishment" could be given to him, and he explained to John that he would be wiped clean. He would have never existed and he would never exist again, not on Earth, in Hell, in Heaven. He would not even think again, not even be there to experience his own haunting nonexistence. And John pleaded with The Father, to let him be free, that he would do anything asked of him; and with a few choice words, The Father explained that there was nothing to be done. Moments later, Lucifer stepped forward and asked, "why did I come here, again?"