Alternate timeline.

In an alternate history, there is a revolutionary movement in my hometown of Toronto dedicated to ousting our corrupt and omnipresent government. I have joined this movement, even though my comrades are made uneasy by how I believe in fighting. I am constantly terrified of accidentally mentioning the one thing that I must not mention, the thing I knew all along, that everyone suspects and fears of me; that the only reason I joined this stupid revolution was to learn how it felt to kill a man.